6 months

One of the saddest things about this whole thing, my getting cancer, is that I found out at the exact moment my nephew was born.  I am sure this is repetitive but each month on my nephew's monthly birthday I am notified of how long it has been since receiving my diagnosis.  It is bittersweet for me but also a great reminder that life goes on and with every moment of intense joy, someone, somewhere, is experiencing the exact opposite.  Why I am bringing this up?  Because on my facebook feed yesterday was an adorable picture of my nephew on his 6 month birthday which means it has been six months since I found out I had cancer.  

My life changed beyond comprehension after those words left the radiologists mouth, I went from being healthy to having a "chronic illness" (that is what they call cancer now, sounds less scarier according to one nurse).  Since then I have undergone 5 mammograms, 7 ultrasounds, 5 surgeries, countless pokes and prods for blood, 3 echocardiograms, 7 expanders fills, 2 allergic reactions, as of yesterday 7 rounds of chemo, and I am not done yet.  Cancer is exhausting.

Between my last round and most recent round I finally got the mouth sores everyone talks about during chemo.  I guess technically I did get one my first round but it went away rather quickly.  Now I know that is because my body had the ability to fight them off.  This time it didn't.  My entire mouth, gums, throat, and tongue had sores on it.  Let me tell you those things HURT.  Best way to describe them is like a canker sore on acid.  Everything hurts them: food, liquid, cold, heat, salt, sugar, you name it.  They prescribe you this stuff called magic mouthwash which is fabulous but only lasts for a short amount of time.   For me it numbed my mouth so intensely that I couldn't stop drooling.  Just one more reason not to leave my house.  

Once those finally cleared up I got this weird blood blister in my mouth. Since Lu (my sister-in-law) is a dental hygienist I sent her a picture.  Freaked me out a bit because I had not bit my mouth.  She explained to me why I probably had it in medical terms but basically it all boils down to my body being too damn weak to take care of itself.  You can also see the lovely scars on my cheeks from that allergic rash I got with my first chemo in this picture.

Another fun thing that I took a picture of the other day was my hand.  About 4 days after my last chemo I hit my hand on something.  It was a completely unremarkable experience.  

Honestly don't know what I hit, how, or when just that it was suddenly there. I put neosporin on it and a bandaid as often as I could thinking it would speed up the healing process since my white blood count and platelets are on hiatus.  Since then it has been this weird wound that won't heal.  Then yesterday it finally turned into a dry-ish scab!  That is almost 3 weeks from when I first got it.  I've decided this means that my body may finally have enough energy to start healing itself (know that my fingers are crossed as I type that).